Special Visitors

Thanks be to God! Good news! My mother in law (God bless her) is going to bring my babies home and stay here to take care of them for a couple of months!!!!! This means, not ONLY do I get to see my children everyday, but that they will be cared for in our home, by their grandma!!! I am SOOOOO excited I could scream! and am in tears of "joy" as I tell Maya, "happy tears".
 Now if I could just get my loving, adorable husband here!...... but everything in due time....

I (with much help) bought them one way tickets, because who knows what will happen in the next few months so lets not over plan. They arrive May 10th! What a wonderful Mother's Day I will have!

Pulling Maya out of kindergarten 6 weeks early, requires some home-schooling for her here in the USA, but I'm very excited to tag team with my mother n law to develop her education in both Spanish and English! I've always wanted to homeschool my children, because I so appreciated my homeschooled education, but never, until now, felt I was motivated or disciplined enough to do so.
I seriously have never been so motivated to make every moment with my children count as now! Not just in their "education" but in their development as a people & women.. I am so grateful, for this time which I have never recognized before as a parent, and I thank God for that recognition.

I was dreaming the other night and half awoke, completely expecting Rafael to be there. You all know how that is, when you wake up from a dream and feel the overwhelming disappointment of reality. I haven't experienced that since my mother and sister passed away. I just wanted to go back to sleep... for the rest of the day and stay in my happy place. Unfortunately that accomplishes no positive results. BLAH!

This week's been especially difficult- I was at a friends gathering where a guest was there with her 18mo old daughter, and I could only think of Catalina, who in less than a month, will be the same age, and I just wanted to squeeze that baby thinking of my own. Each family that has come into the restaurant I work at this week (and there have been many) with their young children, I can only picture my own family and the times and meals we are missing together....

Yesterday I was finally able to Skype with my family and it was really nice to see that Catalina now recognizes mommy on the screen and trying to engage with me, trying to give me kisses and actually "talking" to me. It's bittersweet to be able to see & talk to them, I LOVE  seeing their sweet faces and hearing their voices, but Oh it's heart wrenching every time to see what I'm missing and to have to say goodbye.

Coming up, I'm meeting with Senator Maria Cantwell's office and have an in studio interview with Univision Seattle....let's hope the meeting with Cantwell's office will give me good things to say about her in my t.v. interview. Our Senators have power and influence, my prayer is that they use it for good!

Meeting with Senator Patty Murray

I'm excited! I just returned from a meeting with Patty Murray's representative regarding our family's case. My continual thanks to all of you advocating to Senators Murray & Cantwell on our behalf! My hope is that our Senators and Congress persons recognize that our circumstances impact so many others, and they are also willing to use their influence to advocate on our behalf with DHS Secretary Jeh Johnson & Attorney General Eric Holder. I can't say I left the meeting encouraged, but I recognize that it is a step in the process. 

 

I was told, "we are willing to assist you within the process available by law" -excellent because I am not asking for anything outside of the law, I am however requesting help in obtaining a parole visa available from the DHS Secretary Jeh Johnson & Attorney General Eric Holder. So I hope my Senators will recognize their ability to request with me on my behalf and be willing to do just that. It would be so much simpler if I knew personally any of these persons. Do any of you readers?

 

It's been nearly 7 months now that I've been without my family. I am in a daily battle to remain strong, trying not to give in to mourning and sorrow, knowing Rafael and our daughters are surrounded by family and loving support helps. I also know that all thing will work together for good, that I have to wait, for God's perfect plan to be accomplished. The waiting is the hardest, but it is also developing character in me. Longsuffering wouldn't have been my choice, but I'm definitely growing there.

Mixed emotions

I've been here with my family a little over a week now and I don't quite know how to express these mixed emotions.... being here together is like a dream, and real life is this nightmare of a situation we are in. I believe that the nightmare is temporary, but for this trip I feel the dread of knowing at some point I'm going to wake up, and be home again and separated from those I love the most.
     I'm actually mad, that Maya has forgotten so much English - she's continually asking "Papi como se dice ___ en ingles?" and "when can we go back to our yellow house in Washington" she doesn't always understand me or say things correctly in English... but at the same time I'm grateful for her Spanish education and smooth integration. I'm jealous that I'm missing so much of Catalina's development, it feels like I don't even know her, not the way a mother should. I can't put into words how it feels to have to ask Rafael things I should know, like how much milk does she drink, or is she ready for her nap? Yet I am so thankful that he is able to be a present parent, it is incredible to see the relationship the girls have with him & how loving and caring he is with our daughters.
      Every feeling I have is so mixed.  It's very difficult to be the mommy I need to be, faithful in schedule and discipline, when my days with them are numbered. It's hard to talk about serious things with my husband when it feels like we should make the most of our short time together. I just miss the family that we built, that can now only function together during these visits. I want nothing more than to have my girls grow up in the two parent household we built, and the forced distance between us is harder than I can put into words.
     It gets harder each time I have to leave my family again, but at the same time it has doubled my resolve! When I get back to what used to be home, I bring with me renewed strength and determination to continue doing whatever is necessary in this fight to get my family back.

Arrived in Zacatecas!

   I've arrived safely in Zacatecas, exhausted & elated at the same time. Such an amazing feeling to be able to hold my children tightly and the security of being in Rafael's arms! It makes 4 airports & 15 hours of traveling throughout the night worthwhile.

I was able to catch up on some much needed rest while the girls were napping, then we got the party started. We took Maya to pick out her pinata, she helped me bake & decorate her cake, and daddy took her for a date while I wrapped presents. A big Thank You to our friends and family who sent gifts for her! It was a very special connection to home and those she misses. 
   When all of Rafael´s siblings arrived with their spouses and children we had a full house! Can you believe it, 12 cousins (under the age of 11yrs old) and no fighting! It was especially fun to watch Maya ¨holding court¨ over her cousins who complied as she turn them into cats, dogs, mommy´s or daddy´s with a wave of her magic scepter. 
   To be surrounded by so much love & family was emotionally overwhelming for me, but made the day perfect.   

  

   

Birthday Boxing

This time last year I was hand making party decorations, cooking up edible starfish & seashells, and readying everything in preparation for Maya's "Under the Sea" 5th birthday. Fast forward a year, (it's crazy how things change) tonight I'm boxing up her favorite toys, gifts from friends and a variety of "comforts" from home, like Peanut butter and Real Cheerios, to bring my daughter for her 6th birthday. In less than 48 hours I'll be in route to visit my family!!!! Soooooo excited to see them and be able to hold them! That is the best gift I could ask for, but I'm pretty sure Maya's going to be super excited to open up her giant birthday box!

Department of Homeland Security Rips Away Children and Husband From American Mother

Dear readers,

I would like you to watch how the largest Spanish television network aired my story of how the Department of Homeland Security has ripped apart my family.

Please pass this story on to your friend and family.  Please email your State Senator to help me get an appointment to see Jeh Johnson, the Secretary of Homeland Security and Eric Holder, the U.S. Attorney General.  Senator list is here: Contact Your U.S. Senator

Special thanks to Michael FX of New Zealand for adding the subtitles and Jerry in Washington State for translating the clip.